Choices
by blueweaver
Summary: This is what I think would happen if Shikamaru and Sakura had feelings for each other. They are a little OCC. Rated M to be safe, no real lemons because I can't write those very well.


Ok, this is pretty much how I think Shikamaru and Sakura would end up together, more or less. They might be a little OCC but I hope you enjoy it! Reviews or flames (if you feel the need to) are welcome.

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Sakura and Shikamaru had never been on each others potental spouse list, Shikamaru always planed on ending up with a nice, quiet plain looking civilian girl while Sakura always knew she'd end up with a Ninja or a medic. The two never really talked out side of their jobs, the would often work together, planing out missions or setting up teams but other then that they never spoke to one another. They were polite if they happen to run into one another around town, a wave or a smile in the others direction but they never stopped what they were doing to talk and they almost never thought about the other person, even in work terms.

The first time they talked outside of work was also the first time Shikamaru really took notice of the Sakura. This meeting was with Ino, the blonde had dragged both out to lunch one afternoon proclaiming that they worked to much and needed more sun. Sakura was glad to have been dragged out to lunch on her rare day off, she had planed on just siting around her house, maybe going to train before getting twelve hours of sleep but when Ino had showed up and said that she could either come out to eat or she would come in, Sakura decided to come out. Shikamaru had been standing in the back ground throughout the whole exchange, watching the two girls as they laughed through their insults. It had only taken a few minutes for Sakura to agree and walk out of her house to go eat with them, she was wearing civilian clothes which he'd never seen her in. She was wearing a grey tank top and black shorts, overall he thought she was mourning something but he knew that wasn't the case because no Ninja's had died and he didn't know of her having any civilian friends.

Ino had chosen a little restaurant in the middle of the shopping district, the life of the city surrounding them. Both Sakura and Shikamaru were wondering why Ino had chosen the two of them to take out to lunch, they were two of her closest friends but she never took them out together, Sakura was a shopping buddy and Shikamaru was a training buddy, the two worlds almost never mixed. Neither brought up the question, choosing to enjoy the early fall weather and the feeling of not working for a change, they talked about generic things like work and missions until Ino declared she had an announcement.

Blue eyes sparkling Ino said, "Guys, I know your wondering why I brought you out here today.." Seeing their slightly stunned expression she added, "You might be the smartest people in the city but I know you both very well, anyway my announcement is that I'm pregnant." Her smile was so big she had to close her eyes, happiness shining out of every inch of her.

Shikamaru was shocked into silence both by the fact that she told him personally and by the fact that she was knocked up, he hid it behind his bored expression, not wanting her to see it fearing what would happen if she did. Sakura's shock ended first, her smile almost has big as Ino's, "Wow! Congrats Ino!" She leaned out of her chair and hugged her tightly. The two girls started talking to fast for Shikamaru to try and follow.

"I know, I mean I didn't think that I'd want a baby right now but when I told Kiba he was so happy and we decided that even though we're not married we are keeping it." Both Sakura's and Ino's hands were resting on Ino's stomach, even though she was clearly not far along enough to show signs of being pregnant. Once the two let him get a word in, he congratulated Ino, smiling a little and hugging her awkwardly. Ino thanked him then finally saw the need to explain why she picked the two of them to tell first, "I wanted to tell you guys first because your my two best friends, I know you guys might not realize it but you are." Ino had taken both of their hands and squeezed them lightly.

About twenty minutes after the announcement, Ino got up and started walking towards the flower shop, saying the she really should tell her parents before they heard through the grape vine. Sakura and Shikamaru were left siting at the little table, sipping the remains of their now cold tea, still a little shell shocked. Shikamaru watched Sakura's smile as she laughed to herself and shook her head, "I can't believe Ino's having a baby.." Her green eyes went to his brown ones, her eyes seemed to be shining.

"I know...it's quite a shock isn't it..." He still had his bored expression on his face but his eyes did have a a tint of happiness for Ino in them.

"Do you want kids Shikamaru-san?" She was watching him with the curiosity of a cat, green eyes shining over the rim of her tea cup.

He couldn't think of a reason to not answer and it was a standard question after something like that, "Yes, I do. One girl, one boy." He had never discussed this with anyone else, even girlfriends who he had considered marriage material. It didn't feel strange to be talking to her about this though, maybe it was only because of Ino's announcement. Silence wrapped around the two when Sakura didn't comment and Shikamaru didn't say anything more. He began wondering when it would be ok to leave without being rude when Sakura spoke up.

"I've always wanted two kids as well, but I don't care about the sexes as long as they are healthy, but I don't want them for a few more years. I mean Ino and I only only twenty two and she's already having kids and settling down." Shikamaru could hardly believe she only wanted two kids, he'd always thought she'd want something like ten kids what with her motherly attendance to her team and her bright personality.

He watched as she placed money on the table and smiled brightly before getting up and walking away, saying goodbye over her shoulder. It wasn't until she vanished into the crowd that he realized she had paid for him as well, deciding her would have to do something nice to repay her later, he got up and left as well. They went their separate ways, both thinking about Ino and the thought that the other one was a person with a personal life and not just a working partner, medic or avid cloud watcher.

The next time they saw each other at work, nothing had changed between them, they were still just partners and their working relationship hadn't changed at all. They walked out of the building together, Sakura didn't pause as she turned and began walking to her house, Shikamaru however didn't keep walking, he paused and watched her walk a few steps away before calling to her, "You want to get something to eat?"

Sakura turned and looked at him, a bemused smile gracing her lips. She walked back over to his side and said "What did you have in mind?"

With that he began walking, Sakura fell into step with him, knowing he'd answer when he had thought the answer out. "Theres a little restaurant I normally eat at after working." Sakura nodded her head next to him, silently agreeing with him. It wasn't a long before they got to their destination and it was a nice night so they decided to eat outside on the little porch, once their orders were placed Sakura turned to Shikamaru, "So why did you ask me to come eat tonight? Didn't want to eat alone?" She teased.

Shikamaru answered in his normal bored tone, he knew that asking her to eat with him would mean that they would talk, he was counting on it. Ever since their last conversation, he began wondering what else he'd mis-profiled about her, he was one of the best profilers the village had yet he had already learned he missed the mark with her. Normally he would eat in silence, watching the wind blow through the tree's but today his eyes stayed glued to her eyes, watching every muscle movement she made, deciding he would figure her out by the end of the night. "Yes, I also knew you'd be eating alone tonight so I thought I'd ask you." Short and to the point.

Her bemused smile graced her lips again, her eyes shined with amusement and Shikamaru was a little surprised at how different she was outside the planing room and outside the hospital. She looked different outside of work as well, she looked relaxed and almost happy, maybe even pretty but Shikamaru ignored that thought and focused on profiling her, she was the only person he'd ever messed up and he wanted to correct that error, however small. Sure, it went against his lazy-don't-care nature but he ignored that too.

"How did you know I'd be eating alone? I might have had a date." Her eyes watched his features just as closely as his did. It didn't take either of them long to realize what the other was doing, analyzing, watching, profiling the other. Sakura knew a lot about Shikamaru's working life, he worked cleanly, finishing everything as quickly and professionally as possible, not making idle chit-chat or wasting anytime with other such nonsense. His personal life was a little more of a blur, she knew he lived alone, that he only dated civilians and had dated one girl for almost a year before she broke up with him, he didn't like pets and was normally very clean, he was also an only child and while he loved his mother, he didn't get along with her very well.

Shikamaru smirked, Sakura rolled her eyes, "And who would you have gone out with? You don't have a boyfriend."

"Well, that's how you get boyfriends, by going out with guys and talking. Much like we are doing now, Shika, so is this a date?" Her eyes lit up, he paled slightly, while it was true that he wanted to learn more about her, it wasn't for figuring out if she'd make a good girlfriend because he never dated Ninja's, they were to much trouble.

"This isn't a date, simply two people eating together." He stated, watching as her eyes lit up even more, like she had won some sort of battle that he wasn't aware of. He decided that trying to figure out whatever that was would be to much work, so he dismissed the look.

For the first time since they sat down, Sakura's eyes left his and went over his head, he learned why when their food was placed in front of them. She smiled and thanked their male waiter and he smiled back, touched her shoulder and said something he didn't bother listening to, before walking away. Shikamaru didn't like the waiter, clearly she was siting here, with him, in a quiet little restaurant and they had been talking, this would've looked like a date to anyone else yet the waiter had flirted with her, no he didn't like that at all.

"Don't look so bored Shika, it's a nice night with really good looking food, and the companies not so bad ne?" She smiled at him again as she reached over the table and lifted some of his food into her mouth, seemingly enjoying the food she reached over to steal more, only to be swatted away. Shikamaru laughed a little before eating, Sakura began eating her own food, occasionally smiling up at him, smiles which he returned in a smaller form.

"No..the company isn't bad at all.." Shikamaru said, he saw Sakura smile at the comment but the conversation turned to talks of Ino's pregnancy and how crazy she was at six months and she still had three months to go. After the meal was finished and Shikamaru paid, after much protesting from Sakura, they began walking home. When they got to the place where they would have to take their leave of of the other, they turned to face one another. "So, Shika, since this isn't a date..you don't have to walk me home."

They were standing about a two feet apart from one another, each with their backs to their destinations. "Hmm, no this wasn't a date but I did enjoy eating with you Sakura." He watched her reaction, which he was surprised to find there wasn't one. Her face held the same smile, the same smiled she had worn most of the night and Shikamaru knew he might have been played.

"I enjoyed eating with you to, Shika, I'll see you around." With that she closed the distance and wrapped her arms around his neck, pulling him into a hug. Shikamaru had never really had a reason to hug someone, and normally he was the one who hugged the other person, not usually the other way around but before he could think about it, his arms wrapped themselves around her waist. He realized just how much shorter she was, a head shorter, the top of her head fit just under his chin and with her arms around his neck she forced him to lean into her slightly.

Sakura pulled apart first, smiling and waving as she made her way home, once again calling a goodbye over her shoulder, he smiled a little and waved as well. It wasn't until he was closing his door behind and was reviewing the conversation for profiling reasons, that he realized she had avoided answering his question about who she would go out with. Leaving a major gap in his profiling, he now had no idea what kind of person she viewed as dating material. Sighing he realized it would take a lot more then buying her dinner to get her to talk, a lot of people said she was one of the most open and honest people they knew, yet to him, she seemed very secretive.

The next time they met it was at a bar, Sakura had been there for an hour before he walked in. She had left the hospital and gone straight to the bar, she had lost a patient and didn't feel like going home after telling the family. It took a lot to get her drunk, so after an hour she was only a little tipsy, she was currently slumped in her seat, ignoring the guys who either leered at her or got up the courage to hit on her. Shikamaru walked in after turning in his mission scroll, he had just finished a mission about two hours before and also didn't feel like going home. He spotted Sakura almost right away, her bright pink hair stood out like a sore thumb in the bar, he decided he didn't feel like drinking alone either so after a moments pause he made his way over to her.

He slumped into the seat next to her and waved over the bar tender, placed his drink order, and turned to Sakura. She was already watching him with slightly hazed eyes, she also asked him the question he was about to ask her, "What brings you here, Shikamaru?"

He delayed answering by downing some of drink, enjoying the slight burning it brought to his throat. He could see her sip some of her sake out of the corner of his eye, he also saw the empty bottle siting next to her, he wondered how long she'd been here and just how drunk she was, but he really hoped he wouldn't have to walk her home. After not answering the question for almost two minutes he decided to answer her, "Didn't feel like going home, what about you, Sakura?"

She nodded her head, some of her hair falling into her eyes, "Same..."

The conversation ended with Sakura's short answer and the next hour was spent drinking. Once they stumbled out of the bar, neither was sober enough to realize that they were walking to Sakura's house and that his arm was wrapped tightly around her waist, and hers was around his. When they reached Sakura's front door, she turned to unlock it and he began kissing the back of her neck, his hands on her hips pulling her back against her chest. It wasn't until Sakura's back was slammed against her wall did she realize just what was happening, his lips ran along her neck as his hands pushed her shirt off, her hands had tangled themselves into his hair and she could hear herself moan softly. That's when her brain kicked in and she sobered up, she removed her hands from his hair and pushed against his chest, effectively pushing him off her.

He stumbled back a few steps, looking very confused, Sakura looked at him and kept her hands on his chest, keeping him at arms length. "Look, Shikamaru, we can't do this." Her voice was heavy and her words slurred a little, much to her annoyance, but she knew she had to stop this before it went any further.

Ignoring what she said, her grabbed her wrists and held them above her head as he began kissing her neck and up her jaw, stopping at her ear, "Why not?" The hand that wasn't restraining her hands went to her breast, rubbing it through her bra. It took all her will power to not give into him, to just sleep with him and enjoy herself for the night.

"Because..I don't want a fuck buddy..." She was cut off by his lips covering hers, she pried her hands from his and wrapped them around his neck. It would be so easy to give into this, to just let go but some little voice in the back of her head, a voice she didn't understand, was telling her to stop him. "Shika...we can't do this...we've only talked three times in six months...and we work together...stop..." His lips kept cutting her off, but she was determined to stop him.

He finally pulled away, to look at her, "Things will be different if we stop now or keep going..." His eyes searched hers, and she knew he was right, neither one of them was the kind of person to sleep with or even kiss someone without it changing things between the two of them. They just stood there, staring at one another, waiting for something to happen that would changed things, nothing happened though, they were still at an impasse.

Even though she knew he was right, she couldn't bring herself to justify fucking things up further just because they had already messed things up. On the plus side, he felt so good against her and she wanted him, on the down side, sleeping with him would either make things really awkward or turn them into fuck buddies, she didn't want either. She liked him, she would only admit that to herself because she knew she was far to complicated and wild for his tastes, so the only thing keeping her from sleeping with him was the awkwardness, but it wasn't like he would bring it up to make things awkward and they only worked together every few months.

For better or for worse she made up her mind, pulling him back up against her, she kissed him and removed his shirt. The rest of the night flew by in a blur of hands groping, lips kissing and sucking and bodies meshing. Sakura hadn't planed on sleeping with anyone that night and the thought hadn't crossed her mind when he sat down next to her but she was smart and when she realized how drunk they both were a part of her knew what was going to happen, but besides stopping him for a few minutes, she didn't have any complaints

Sakura woke up in the morning feeling the weight of another body laying next to her and the weight of an arm across her waist. It only took her a few seconds to remember what had happened and with who and it brought a smile to her lips, she could feel his chest against her back and his even breaths blowing across the back of her neck. She enjoyed the feeling for a few minutes before she realized she had no idea how to act around him in the morning, she untangled herself from the sheets and sat up. She heard him shift behind her and groan as his hangover made its self known, she got up and slid on her robe, once is was tightly tide around her she turned to face him.

The sheets were laying low on his hips and his hair was out of his normal pony tail so is haloed across the pillow and his eyes were glued to his face. Pushing her hair behind her eyes she said in a almost shy voice, "Here, I can fix that..." She placed her hands on the sides of his face and streamed some chakra into his head, relieving his hang over. His hands wrapped around his wrists and he pulled her hands from his face to his lips, "Good morning.."

She offered a hesitant smile towards him as she stood up, only to be pulled back onto the bed, "Sakura, I know you don't want a fuck buddy and that's not what I want you to be either.." Something in Sakura sunk a little, she pulled away from him and smiled again, "Theres no need to explain Shikamaru, I'm a big girl. I'm going to take a shower and go to work, I'll see you around." With that she disappeared behind the bathroom door and a few minutes later he could here the sound of running water.

Shikamaru was left, laying in her bed thoroughly confused, which was saying a lot when you had an IQ of over two hundred. He was going to say he would like to keep seeing her and not just in the bedroom. She interested him, he couldn't read her like he could read everyone else and even though they had only spent a couple hours together outside of work, he couldn't help but thinking about her. She was the only person he'd even misread and he was still misreading her, the more time he spent with her and the more he thought about her the less he wanted a life with a civilian. Plus, the sex with her was better then any he'd had with a civilian. When he heard her step into the shower he also realized she'd called him Shikamaru and the only times she'd done that was when she was upset with him.

Getting out of bed and shoving open the bathroom door he said, "Why are you mad at me?" He asked the shower curtain.

He watched as she pushed the curtain over so she could stick her head out but still cover the rest of her, which he thought was stupid because he'd already seen everything. "I'm not mad at you, do you mind I'm trying to take a shower." She was glaring at him now. "Why are you still here, anyway?"

Now he was angry, he didn't understand why she was being difficult. "I'm here because I'm not done talking to you, are you going to tell me what's bothering you or are you going to keep avoiding whatever it is that's bugging you?" He had taken a few steps forward and was now standing right in front of her, the shower curtain was the only thing separating them.

"I'm not avoiding anythi-" She was cut off by his angry glare and his hand covering her lips, preventing her from speaking.

"Now, I'm not going to remove my hand or leave until you tell me the truth." He watched as even more anger bubbled to the surface of her eyes, her posture became rigid as well.

She pushed his hand away from her, "Fine you want me to tell you the truth? I like you, for some stupid reason, I do. That's why I didn't want to sleep with you, you just wanted a lay, which is fine whatever, but don't expect me to be happy that you don't want anything else from me."

Everything made sense to him now, but he was still in shock as he watched her turn off the water and wrap a towel around herself, throwing one at him as she did so. He was still a little annoyed at her, at how she thought he didn't want anything else from her, he wasn't that kind of person. He followed her out of the bathroom and back into the bedroom where she was standing, facing her bed, shoulders slumped. That made him pause, she wasn't angry anymore but she was clearly still upset, "Please, Shikamaru, just go."

"Sakura, I thought you knew me better then that. I would never sleep with you then toss you aside, I do want more from you, I want you to be mine." Once again she felt him behind her, this time though he wasn't touching her, just standing there.

He watched as her shoulders tensed again, she slowly turned to face him, her eyes weren't holding the happiness he'd expected but the anger from before. She laughed, a sarcastic laugh, "You want me to believe that you've fallen in love with me? Over two lunches and one fuck? Please, Shikamaru, don't insult my intelligence like that." She pushed past him into her closet and he could hear the shuffling of clothes as she got dressed.

"You won't believe me but you expect me to believe you?" He glared at the closest door, angering bubbling once again. He didn't understand her, isn't what he said what women wanted to hear? That he wanted her? That he hadn't used her? That he cared for her? He remembered now why he liked simple civilians and not brilliant medic ninja's.

He heard her laugh again, the same sarcastic laugh, "I haven't fallen for you over to lunches and one night. I've liked you for a while, ever since we started working together two years ago. Your smart, you challenge me and you make me laugh but you can't have the same feelings for me, a crush maybe or an interest but not what I have for you."

That morning he watched as she walked out of her apartment, yelling at him to lock the door when he left. For the second time in his life and for the second time that day, he was left confused. As he got dressed and walked back to his apartment, he realized that maybe he had once again misread her and just how much she cared for him. He had assumed she was just crushing on him or that she was attracted to him but apparently she loved him or at least had stronger feelings for him then he had for her. He decided to keep his distance from her, to work with her when had to and since they really had no other cause to see each other then maybe his feelings for her would dissipate or vanish completely.

After one month of not seeing her, his feelings hadn't changed, he still thought about her everyday, wondering what else he didn't know about her. He figured that the only reason she still haunted his thoughts was because he was still upset because he misread her so all he had to do was get over his ego and move on. Two months later he thought about her less but he was still reminded of her through little things and he still wanted to know more about her, to figure her out so he could read her like he could read everyone else. In the middle of the third montht, he worked with her. He was once again remind about has fascinating she was, how she always surprised him when no one else could. She worked with him like she had worked with him before, sat next to him, argued with him, looked in the eye. She didn't sit on the other side of the table or look away when he looked at her and she didn't become timid with him. But she also didn't become more combative or aggressive, he couldn't figure out if she was simply pretending that they had never slept together or if she was simply over him and had moved on, he didn't like either of those options.

They walked out of the building together and just before he could ask her to lunch, she smiled, but not at him, at a guy walking towards them. His smile was at least five times brighter then hers was, but he didn't seem to take notice of that as he wrapped his arms around her and kissed her. Shikamaru stood awkwardly off to the side, trying not to glare at the man currently kissing her, when they pulled apart the guy turned to face Shikamaru, he was smiling like a fool.

"You must be Nara-san, I'm Tabito." The man was slightly shorter then he was, even when Shikamaru was slouching over. He looked friendly enough, clearly he wasn't a ninja so he must have been a medic. He was maybe twenty six, with dark brown hair and green eyes, he was also pale which told him that he didn't get outside the hospital much. It was also very clear that Sakura and Tabito were dating and he was very happy with Sakura and she seemed moderately happy with him. Extending his own hand he shook Tabito's trying to be friendly with him.

"Sakura's told you about me?" He asked, trying very hard not to glare at the man who had wrapped his arms possessively around Sakura's waist. Sakura had her arms crossed in front of her, but not like she was angry.

"Only that you guys work together on occasion, she also told me your the smartest guy around." His smile was earnest and Shikamaru knew he wasn't lying.

"Yes, Sakura and I work on planing out missions, only rarely, our paths don't cross much." Shikamaru answered, eyes drifting to Sakura for a moment before looking back up at her boyfriend.

"Yeah, I guess she consults on the safety stuff, makes sure the guys pack the right supplies and all that." The same earnest smile, no lie in his eyes. Had she really told him she was something like a house mother? What they planed together was not wether or not the 'guys' would need toothpaste, it was attack plans, mortality risks and how many should go so they would have enough men to finish the mission, allowing for deaths is people died before they reached their target. The look Sakura gave him made it clear that he was not to correct Tabito, that she had either lied to him or let him assume that that was what she did and not that she was the second smartest person in the village.

"Well we should get going, Tabito. I'll see you around Shikamaru-san." With that Sakura unwrapped his arms from around her, grabbed his wrist and all but dragged him away, Tabito cast Shikamaru a very male look over his shoulder one that said, 'She's mine.'

Something told Shikamaru that Sakura wasn't unaware of that look, that something was the shift in her chakra, but she ignored the look and continued to walk away. Not bothering to say anything to their retreating backs, Shikamaru just turned towards his home and started walking, digesting this new piece of information he now had about Sakura.

The next time he saw her was two weeks later, she was eating alone in the same cafe that he had taken her to before they were no longer speaking. He didn't know what to do, he ate here often and always sat outside and he didn't see a reason to change that, if she felt awkward then she could leave. He sat down, she was three tables down, enjoying her meal and she hadn't seemed to notice him yet. That was fine with him, maybe he could eat his meal without having to pretend like he didn't notice her.

That didn't happen though, much to his disappointment. Some where off to his left some kid had yelled, causing Sakura, who was on his right, to look in his direction. He hadn't even realized he'd been looking at her until his eyes locked with hers, much to his surprise, she smiled, brightly at him and waved. He inclined his head in her direction and then turned back to his freshly arrived food, he could feel her eyes on him for a few more moments before she looked away. He could hear her light voice talking to the waiter as she paid and got up to leave. He sighed to himself and realized he wouldn't talk to her day, that he'd have to fix their still broken relationship later, maybe he could fix it to the point so that they were speaking.

Once again he was wrong, moment later a shadow was cast over his table. Looking up he met with bright pink hair shoved up under a winter hat and clear green eyes peaking out between her scarf and hat, she didn't seemed mad at all. She sat down across from him and pulled her scarf away from her mouth so she could talk.

"I'm sorry about how I ended things, last time we talked." She didn't bother to sugar coat anything or beat around the bush and she wasn't smiling, which surprised him, he thought she would be timid, shy or even embarrassed when they talked about this, but she wasn't.

"I understand how you felt, I just didn't at the time. Maybe if I had followed you it would have turned out differently." He said, watching her carefully, hoping that he would be able to read her, just for once. Also hoping he had said the right thing and that she would storm off or something.

She laughed, her eyes lighting up again and she relaxed into the chair. "If you had followed me I think I would've put you into a wall." She reached across the table and covered his hand with hers, "I am sorry about what I said. Nothing has really changed between us and I'd like us to stay the same, friends or just two people who work together, whatever." Nothing has changed? They hadn't spoken much before but now they never spoke, never ate together, they didn't even vist Ino on the same days.

Shikamaru looked down at their hands, he didn't want to just be strangers or even friends, he wanted her. It had been four months since the fight and he still thought about her every day and some times spent his would be cloud watching time thinking about how he could convince her to be with him. He twisted his hand so their fingers ended up interwoven above the table, "Sakura, it has been four months and I still think about that night and you far more often then I would if I simply had a crush on you. You didn't believe I could have developed feelings for you over three meetings and one night, you were right. But how about a year of thinking about you? A year of wishing we were more then whatever we are now."

Sakura sat up straighter in her chair, her eyes still locked on his face but she wasn't seeing him. She was thinking, thinking about how it had been almost a year since Ino had first dragged them out to lunch, she could hardly believe he had been thinking about her since then, he hadn't made any advancements towards her besides that one dunked night but he wasn't a person to lie about this. Her eyes focused on him again, on his warm brown eyes.

"Shikamaru..I..I still care for you but I'm with Tabito and I care for him to.." His hand tightened around hers. His eyes harden and a slight frown found its way to his lips.

"You care for me still but you won't leave him? I don't want to just be your friend and I don't want to wait around forever for you to see that we need to give this a shot." He was almost glaring at her, but he just couldn't bring himself to full out glare at her. She was still confused, either about her feelings or his, either way, she wasn't ready when he'd been waiting and trying to figure out what to do for months. He knew he couldn't show up on her doorstep proclaiming his love for her and he couldn't go to her work without drawing attention to both of them and thus causing people to question her later and she would resent him for that.

Now she was glaring at him, "If you've loved me for a year then why haven't you said anything before this?"

He sighed, eyes sliding to their hands again as he rearranged his thoughts. He didn't want to come across as angry so in his calmest voice he said, "I didn't say anything because it wasn't until a month or so after our fight that I realized I can't stopping thinking about you and the I couldn't think of a way to tell you so that you would believe me.."

Of all the things he'd thought Sakura would do, cry, say she did love him, punch him into the next decade but he didn't expect her to laugh. Looking back up at her, he watched as she laughed like a crazy person. Her eyes were closed and she was laughing as though she had just heard the funniest joke in the world, when she had calmed down she looked at him and said, "I'm sorry Shika, it's just I know your right, if you had just walked up and randomly told me I would've assumed you were lying. But I believe you because, why would you lie to me about this?"

Shikamaru didn't hear anything after she called him "Shika." After that he knew she was no longer angry with him and that she believed what he had told her. After that the only thing he could think of after that was, kiss her. Kiss her and never ever let her leave you again and never ever leave or hurt her again. He got up and walked over to her side of the table, crouched down in front of her and started to lean in to kiss her only to be stopped by her hand covering his lips. He removed his eyes from her lips and looked back into her eyes, clearly questioning why she stopped him.

"Not yet mister, I'm still seeing Tabito, I haven't broken in off yet." She smiled at him and pulled her hand away. Shikamaru dropped his head, clearly defeated. He could feel her running her hand through his hair, having pulled it out of the pony tail. A gentle tug on his hair forced him to look up at her, she was still smiling and he had to try very hard not to stare at her lips, "I'm going to go home, talk to Tabito and sorted some things out. It'll take some time since we're living together.." She stopped because he look had gone from bored to angry.

"What you didn't know that?" His look gave her her answer, "Well yeah we are, have been for like five weeks, I've been dating him for almost three months Shika." She stood up, and took a few steps away, he remained in his crouching position, look at her. Still smiling she walked back over to him, leaned down and kissed him on his forehead before pulling back and making her way home. It was going to be a long night, full of fighting and yell and tears.

He would see this as a random break up, maybe see it had her fearing commitment. After all they had been dating awhile and she knew he cared for her a lot more then she cared for him, but when they started dating she told herself she could learn to care for him. Apparently he had been pining for her for awhile and had finally decided to ask her when she seemed to have drooped her guard a little, he didn't know she had done so because she was trying to get over someone else. He was nice enough, simple, easy to read and she liked him like she liked all the people she worked with, maybe she liked him a little more then the rest. The sex wasn't great but it was good enough, he was a decent kisser and was always understanding.

Maybe that was why she couldn't bring herself to love him, he never challenged her, he was good, not great, at everything, he slid by in the hospital never making a name for himself but always making sure his patients recovered fully. She felt nervous though, she could have a normal, decent life with him yet she was willing to toss it out the window on a chance that she could have something great with Shikamaru. It was true that she brought feelings out of Shikamaru that she'd never seen before and he did the same with her, she loved being around him, even if they were just working together and not even talking and he always challenged her, always made her think and feel.

She found herself standing outside her front door, staring at the bright red paint and plain wooden knocker, wondering just how she should go about this, or if she even should. Shikamaru was an uncertainty, he could change or break her heart, they might even find out that they only lusted for one another and after a while they might become sick of the other. Where as Tabito was solid, if she stayed with him they would get married, have kids and she would be content maybe even happy throughout her life, which was more then most could say. If she stayed with him though, she'd only ever be content, she'd also have to become a full time medic and she knew that would drive her crazy, but would having kids fill in the gap of not taking missions. She also knew that he wouldn't even want her planing out the missions, he want her to be a wife and mother, maybe a medic but never again a Ninja. That was stupid, kids weren't meant to fill gaps, they were meant to bring even more joy to the parents. Shikamaru wouldn't force her to become only a medic, he might even make her happier then she'd ever been and if or when they had kids, they would decide to take missions or not, together. Should she gable on Shikamaru making her happier then she'd ever been or maybe breaking her heart into pieces she couldn't mend? Or should she stay with Tabito and be content with a husband who loved her and kids, a life without death.

She took a deep breath and pushed open the door, having made up her mind, she would just have to see where her choice would lead her. She smiled and shook her head at just how dramatic this day was turning out to be.

Shikamaru sat at the table, not sure what to do. Go home and pace or wait here and sort through his swirling thoughts. Rolling his eyes he realized just how much more work he'd have to do with Sakura, he couldn't be the lazy genius anymore.

* * *

Well that's it! I hope you liked it. I'm thinking about making into a multi chap story and adding a few things because it seemed rushed to me in a few places. I also think it's the longest story I've written...

I think the ending was better then the start, I think it flowed a little better or something. Anyway, if you have and comments about how I should change it when or if I rewrite it please tell me. If you need to flame, that's cool to, just tell me why your flaming and don't just say "this sucked." tell me why it sucked.


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